Samuel Yeoh

Do you believe in self-sacrifice?

I didn’t realised it, but today I found out that I do. As much as I love my life, and would never ever sacrifice it for but the strongest of reasons, my love for life is that of an animalistic, basic survivalist nature. It is an instinct that I do not want to die, and that I cherish the breathing, living aspect of life.

But in an oxymoronic fashion, I do not care much about the quality of life. I believe in the desecration of the soul, the concept of self-destruction and self-mutilation in a spiritual sense, in exchange for a greater good. As long as it’s worth it. That is my twisted belief in self-sacrifice.

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A path of shattered dreams we tread.
Our life’s journey to reclaim what we had.

Was talking to an ex-classmate I haven’t met in years the other day. Inevitably, we ended up talking about our failed ambitions and past glories. While there’s not much point in reminiscing about memories we cannot relive, it does provide a perspective on how we handle our lives now. We make the best of what we can.

And when I think about it, that’s what it’s about, isn’t it. The rest of our lives are spent rebuilding those dreams we had as children, or making new attainable ones. Depressing huh. And yet some of us trudge on to become somewhat successful with dreams that do not belong to us, each footstep a painful crunch that jolts the sharp memory of what could have been.

Of course, some of us do not stray into the path of shattered dreams, and live the lives we’ve always wanted. Some of us find a new dream that we embrace fully and return from the shattered path. Myself, I’m still wondering if I’ll ever find that little bend that leads me off my well-worn path of shattered dreams.

This semester in school has been an interesting one for me, mainly due to the our current core module, Media Law, Ethics and Policies. The first half of the semester has been fascinating discourse on law, a subject that interests me a whole lot greater than I expected. And now, we’ve begun on ethics, something I’ve always had certain difficulty wrapping my mind about, mostly because the concept of ethics does not appeal to me.

During a post-lecture dialogue with my lecturer, he introduced me to the Mach IV personality test in an attempt to help me grapple with my philosophical position on the subject matter. I scored an 89 out of 100, classifying me as a High Mach, and an endorser of Machiavelli’s perspectives. But more on his principles later, a little background on my perspectives first.

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