Samuel Yeoh

Sigh. Seems like things blow up when you least expect it.

I should have seen it coming, and was in fact planning to take reconciliatory steps already, but it exploded before I could find time to do anything.

Have been getting quite a lot of bad rep recently, as I’ve been taking awhile to edit my photos, and do owe a backlog to a number of models. In all fairness and honesty, I am delaying quite a bit beyond my usual 2 week deadline, but at the same time I always try to give some preview photos within the deadline. So it kinda irks and disappoints me when a model complained that she waited over a month to get only 5 photos.

Don’t get me wrong, she has every right to complain, I’m guilty about the delay as charged. But it’s the way how one-sided it all is. I did give 5 photos within 2 weeks, and another 19 photos a few weeks later. Slow, but still different from claiming that I didn’t deliver. What irks me more are the other complains which are also skewed and factually incorrect, but I digress. There’s no point bringing out evidence to debate on petty matters, I just needed to rant.

To be honest, I have no idea how to deal with this. It’s the first time I’ve encountered such a situation in all my years of shooting, and I’m not a very PR person. Despite the injustice I feel, I guess it’s best to just ignore and let others chatter away. Ultimately, those who feel my work are of value and want to work with me will still approach me, and it filters out the bad eggs.

Anyway, to top things off, I’m about to become a jobless bum. Talk about double whammy.

Been having difficulties with my work for the past few months, part of the reason why I’ve been stalling the editing of my photos. (Yeah, I still shoot, coz it helps me destress. So the backlog is still self-inflicted, no excuses for that.) Today it finally culminated in a chat with the bosses, and an agreement that we should part ways amicably.

Actually, I should be happy, coz I’ve been planning to quit and start my own business already. Just didn’t expect to have a shift in plans so quickly.

All in all, it’s a pretty shitty day.

I’m not the type of person who calls for the manager when I experience bad service, or bang out an angry complain letter when I’m mistreated. However, this is the one exception that really really pissed me off. My maiden complain letter, to the fucked up Speedpost. They don’t even have a general enquiry email for complains, and it’s impossible to get their customer service officer. Wonder if this will even reach the right persons. Anyway, the poison letter.

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I guess as always, I’m living in my own world with my own unrealistic expectations, and I get so upset when I get disappointed again. Argh. Is there a pill I can pop that makes me heck care about all these things?? It always gets me so depressed!

Recently, I’ve been attempting to arrange a lot of shoots. But everything just keeps screwing up. I’ve gotten used to being cancelled, but I just wish people would learn to keep their words. I hate it when someone asks me to shoot them, then later turns around and asks to be paid. Or agrees to shoot a particular theme with me, then change their minds.

But the most hurtful of all was when I found out one model shot a concept I suggested with another photographer! I’ve learnt to expect shit from most of the model wannabes that I shoot, since they are not professionals. It’s irritating yes, but I manage to put up with all their unprofessionalism. But this model, I thought so highly of her initially. She was different from the wannabes, valued her portfolio, and she’s the kind that will go far.

Yet, when I saw the photos on her portfolio, I was shattered.

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Ok, maybe thing’s ain’t so bad after all eh.

Had two shoots today, one with the lovely Loren, whose look I fell in love with the instant I saw her photo, and the other one with the jovial Steph. And man oh man, was I high.

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Ok. I need to rant. I just got cancelled. Again. On a perfectly sunny Friday afternoon, after all that dreary rainy days. Fantastic. Amazing. Unbelievable. Almost comically laughable, if I were not the butt of the joke here.

Now, if you’re still thinking it’s me and not the cruel fates, let me give you this week’s line up of excuses.

Wed: Last minute called back to cover a sick colleague.
Thurs: Rain. Bleah.
Fri: Aunty in A&E.
Sat: High fever.
Sun: Exams on Monday

Out of the five, three of them are confirmed true, and not out to jerk my chain. One of them is highly probable to be true, and one is maybe true. Regardless, five shoots scheduled in five days and cancelled. I have to say, this is nothing short of miraculous.

I still got 3 more shoots scheduled for the weekend though. I wonder if all three will suffer a similar fate. Heh.

I love my life, can you tell?

Just at a time when I’m trying to ramp up my shooting frequency and improve my skills, and develop a usable portfolio, the world decides to rain on my parade. Quite literally too.

Trying to shoot these days is like trying to bang a hole in the wall with my head – it’s deeply frustrating, simply doesn’t work, and hurts like hell.

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